Peace...is all i want

Day by day, I feel like giving up. I just want to but there is just so much stopping me but encouraging me to give up as well. I don’t know how to balance that out yet but I hope I will. Nothing is getting better. Everything seems to be bad or getting worse. Sometimes I see that tiny light of hope and the next second it’s gone. It like I’m not meant to have a problem free time, and I’m so sick of it. I worry so much that I put myself under pressure and the best part off all is I have to act like nothing is wrong and it’s getting harder and I don’t know how long I’m going to have to pretend that everything is perfect or everything is going to be alright when deep down I know nothing is going to change. I’m still going to go through the same problems in college, the same problems with my parents & other relationships and the same personal problems that never seem to end and I’m so tied. I’m tired of thinking about my family and worrying about them constantly, I’m so worried about my financial situation with my Dad’s retirement, I’m so worried about my disgusting results, whether or  to anyone would want to hire me with such ridiculous results and so much more.

All I want to do is just run. Running away is never the answer but what if it is for me? I just need to get away from everyone and just be on my own, and to leave behind all those worries that’s constantly running through my mind 24/7. But of course running away means I need a load of money which obviously I don’t have so maybe this is why running is not my answer.

I would just want one day...just one day to let myself let go of everything and just empty my thoughts.....

Guess that’s never going to happen too....Life definitely sucks ...