Was It Genuine ? ? ?

I have always wondered why was it so hard for me to find genuine people, as in attitudes and thoughts. After many years i have found that most of the people around me aren't who they say they are. they are different on the inside and outside. WHY ? ?

Now, although i don't tell people whether what they speak is the truth or what they feel, but i would always ask myself do they really what they are saying ? are they genuinely saying things ? Its beginning to concern me now. i often do this to myself, even to those i love and trust ? where did i learn this ? and why am i thinking and questioning people to myself.

With me studying for psychology and knowing facts about humans behaviour and how to detect and capture peoples gestures, movements and so on, somehow doesn't help me abandoning the suspicion thoughts i have. i basically look at the persons eyes, their gestures and movements and the tone of voice to identify if their lying. And i do see that occasionally they lie and finally on another occasion i would actually find out that they were lying with proof. And that's why i have deliberately started doing it constantly to people i speak to .

I have started to observe people i speak to now allot rather than hearing what they say much. I hope it goes away, cause i don't really like this kind of thought within me cause unconsciously I'm being very fake towards them to. *Fingers crossed *