Dear....

I was reading today's newspaper and i came across this column where people are able to send in a real-life story to the paper and that story would be featured in a column in the newspaper. It was about a girl who thought she was lucky with everything in her life until she got married, divorced and became a single mother and then she asked got why was she being treated this way and soon she wrote that she went on to pursue her dreams with all the support from her parents and is living a happy life now.

I was thinking to myself, how come god still hasn't showed me my way ? I mean so far there's more bad things that's been happening rather than good in my life ? don't i deserve it too ? she grew up in a good family, I'm not saying mine is bad but my mom and i still annoy each others life, and both of them still treats me unfair compared to my two brothers, she had a very good education process till her masters, and i have been struggling through my diploma and now degree, i did not get married or sleep with anyone to get myself pregnant but she did and yet God gave her, her life back which led to a very good life even if she was whining about how she lose friend and relatives who looked down on her but still she ended up getting what she wanted. I work my ass off for whatever i want, and when I'm happy with something, someone decided to take it away from me and make a bad out of the good ? so is this fair ??

I'm not saying i don't get i want, i do but not always. and whatever i got i had to work hard for it , unlike some people. And its soo frustrating ! I was never a spoilt brat who made my parents get me what i wanted cause i knew it was not a nice thing to do so i always worked for it, so is it so hard for me to get something easily ??

Once in awhile i would like to live my life the way i want to, not forced to live the way i was suppose to ! I soooo wish i knew an astrologer who could see my future, at least i can prepare myself for the worst now it self...hmpfhhh..

Hindi Movie Review

Jhootha Hi Sahi is a hindi language romantic comedy film. Its so hilarious and not to mentioned cute. If you guys are into cute or maybe hot guys who makes sarcastic funny jokes, well you all should watch this ! I guarantee you would love it :)

This story is basically about Siddharth played by John Abraham works in a bookstore in London with his friend Omar. He has a girlfriend Krutika whom he thinks he loves but she isn't very nice person anyway. So one day a women (Mishka) calls him and says she wants to kill herself * why she called him, well you need to watch it to know* They become phone friends eventually and than one day Mishka visits his bookstore by accident, he knew who she is but she doesn't, and the story goes on to Sid & Mishka falling for each other until...... you can watch the rest yourself ! I missed out some nail bitting parts so you need to watch the movie and i don't wanna spoil it for you.

I watched this movie more than 5 times already and I'm still not bored of it yet. Jokes are awesome and the guys are awesome and the songs are not bad too :) Hope you guys think the same too !

Copy right pictures : Lakes Paradise

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Days are going super fast now right ? hmmm, wish it would go slower some times. My days are still as much as it was the last time, the usual classes and assignments. And its getting closer to my finals for this semester. Haven't been studying much though.

Kinda worried about my quantitative methods too. Every time i look at all the QM studying materials i cant help but feel disappointed. i mean i had so much hope that i would pass and get you know maybe a C for the paper but instead i failed, and its so frustrating after all the hard work i have put in. Right now i have no idea what to think for that subject, half of me just gave up and the other half is trying to get through. Tomorrow is the id term for QM, so I'm just gonna go in and get the test paper so i could come home and do a little practice on it. I have been looking at the same studying materials for the past 2 semester and i really hope, that i don't have to see it anymore next semester.. i really hope i don't :(

Life as We Know It

Haven't been updating my blog much,.why cause there isn't much going on now, most of my plans have canceled, which wan the sunway trip, the all girls clubbing outing, an all girls night out vacation in Bali, Indonesia and of course universal studios :( none of this happened cause every time we planned something important had to come up, so annoying... well next is my friends surprise 21st birthday party, so happening that would turn out good.

Been very annoyed allot lately, actually ever since i got my exam results. i mean i know i did not deserve what i got with all the studying and waking up earlier than everyone else to get my ass to class in the morning, i mean common ! i tried hard didn't i ? damn than with all those planning that never happened. Than the love life isn't doing well either so go figure ! why am i so annoying.

I just wanna get this semester over with and pass everything or I'm gonna get left behind, and that's stressing me out like crazy :( more like depressing..than i just weighed myself and i put on 2 Kg's, I cut my rice intake and i only ate once a day and drank to much liquid instead, so i don't effing know how water, coffee, tea and milo could make me weigh two Kg's extra...stupid all the effort i did to lose the weight and now i got it back ! humbug !! I'm not gonna bother anymore, i tried and it did not work so I'm eating what i want back again, to hell with losing weight ! hah !

Suicide

Have anyone of you thought about committing suicide, maybe constantly or randomly feel that way when something bad is happening ??

well i have, I'm not gonna lie, i think ever since i was a kid i would think about suicide cause most of the time it would be cause of me not having friends or my parents being unfair with their punishments and rewards system towards me and my brothers, and most of the they time the suicide feeling comes when it comes to my exam results, i fail more than i passed in secondary 4 & 5. I know all all these excuses seems stupid to even think of suicide..but i still do it now anyways. But all i know is i can never have the guts to kill myself, cause one my pain threshold is really low, so yeah I'm nt stabbing myself or jumping off a building , second i think funerals are really expensive these days so I'm not gonna burden my parents and not to mention humiliating them cause as usual Malaysian blames parents for the child's attitudes and decisions.

I feel suicide is a very easy way out but is it really a good decision ?? i know maybe some of us may think that it maybe the only way out of all the bad things that's happening, but do ever find other ways to not turn to that choice ?? and do people think about how much are they gonna affect the people they love or people who loves them if they committed suicide ??

Anyways its not like I'm gonna get answers to that, but I'm just so very curios to find out :) p/s this is not my suicide note