Haven’t updated anything for awhile now, I pretty much
abandoned my blog simply because I couldn’t really figure out what I have been
and still feeling. Things have been super complicated these past few months,
nothing much has been getting better its either getting from bad to worse or
not changing at all. Everything just sucks right now.
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| My apartment frm the front view |
Moved into my new apartment with my brother and his
girlfriend and it’s already been a month. I guess I kinda do like living with
them, though I don’t get much freedom as I did before but its kinda letting me
feel that I’m always going to have someone to depend on rather then I did when I
was living with other people which kinda made me feel crappy & shameless
cause I was depending more on other people’s welfare or forcing them to accept
me in their lives. But I bid farewell to those feelings when I got my very own
place. Though I kinda miss staying with my friend and her family, who treated
me like their own for two years, and that’s something that I cannot forget.
As for my relationship status, I’m now single. It’s harder than
I thought it would be. Being with a person for two years and suddenly one day
that person is stranger to me is hard. It hurts like hell, I have to admit
that, there were too much tears being wasted for just this one person who never
appreciated me, it just made me feel stupid. So the moral of my pathetic
relationship is that, never believe anything a guy says, the hopes they give
you or the promises they make cause they’d never make those words come true. 2
relationships I pushed myself into and this is what I got and these kinda feelings just tires me and I once i let go I feel so much free now. I have no more obligations to be
loyal or be worrying about my other half all the time. I kinda like the way it
is now, so let’s just hope that everything stays this way till imp ready to
have someone in my life again.
College has been nothing but a nightmare. I cannot express
how much I hate my college and how much I hate studying. Just finish my finals
and guess what I hate my college wayyyy moreeee now. Damn how much I regret
thinking that continuing to study was a good choice! I feel like slapping
myself for that. All I want right now is to get my stupid degree over with and
imp done with studying.
And to make things better I have my dear friends. Glad that I
have a few good ones that I can always turn too, or drag me out of being
miserable all the time.
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| Genting with this 2 crazy girls |
This week has been I guess the best week so far, been
meeting up with some of my close friends since Sunday, and I made a trip to
Genting with two of my old friends and I guess I haven’t laughed that much in a
very long time. Tomorrow would be my last day in kl, will be meeting up with
another old friend and then on Sunday I’m off to Kedah for the rest of my
semester break. Can’t wait to see my parents, another bunch of people that has
never failed to make me feel wanted.
So i guess that’s all for now, till than toodles
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Letting go is never easy, it hurts and it tires your mind
when you keep thinking of it. Imagine having so many people around you and
suddenly, one by one they start to disappear. Every time someone disappears,
you keep denying it , until one day you realise that you have lost them, probably
for good, with all the trust you had in them and those special feelings you had
for them.
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