Ugly or not there she goes...

I have known this girl for almost 3 years and i have been awed by her attitude until today

This girl looks bad physically * nt that I'm being mean* and she is big in size..but she doesn't care. she has never bothered to go on a diet or get herself an expensive dermatologist to help her instead she lives with it without a single care in the world.

I was close to her for a certain period of time, but kinda drifted apart as we always had the opposite opinions on everything including friends but we did talk and joke around its just that we have different clique.

This damstress wears what she pleases although often it never suited her body shape ( as she was kinda big in places) though she had been told never to wear those clothes again she shuts them up and still wear em'. Look at that how many girls actually do that ??? ermmm none !
people do look at her oddly but she doesnt bother haha.

She eats allot to..trust me i have seen. She never bothered about how big is she and certainly dieting was never on her mind, another thing i always looked up on her for.

She is good at criticising* usually the truth* and saying what she thinks right in front of you, in other words she isn't a backstabber and a very brave person..she stands up for her self and age of her victims doesn't count.

Other than that her thinking is simply unique. the way she thinks is like so out-of-the-box..i mean she thinks about thinks other people don't think off. she is definitely smart scores like no body's business in exams.

She is known to be on her own. she doesn't mix around much with people so she is constantly on her own, she sometimes goes out shopping or eating all on her own whiteout a care in the world.

After getting to know her background such as how she grew up or how her parents were, somehow i figured out why did she turn up this way. she grew up in a broken family where her parents were both perfectionist but rarely care what their kids were up to. i know she grew up hating her parents, she doesn't say it out but i sensed it when she speaks of them.

And so that's why she became an independent person, who doesn't live on other people's satisfaction on purely on hers

This one girl that I'll never forget..hope she rocks her life like she always does.......

TV ADDICT !!!!!!!!!!!

Since my college had ended i have been super free n super uno bored, and thus i became a tv addict. i have been glued to the tv almost everyday for atleast 4-6 hours a day...yes im lifeless
but who cares cause im actualy loving it ^^

CH 711 in Astro has been my loyal companion so far, half of their series are mw my best friends.
i have been addicted the most to is ( mind you, this is only a few of it)

GLEE

Im proud 2 say i havent missed a single episode of these programmes and some of others since May'10...

so proud of myself ! muhahahaha

IMMATURE ANYONE ?????

Maturity ? hmm... can a person really define this ? or show it ?

growing up age wise is nvr enuf, u nid 2 expand emotionally and psychologically..but wait cant we still act a lil bit like a kid ?

i admit i may have grown up, but there is diz feelings form my core to act like a kid every once in awhile, there is always a small kid in me jumping to come out in many situations but obliviously I'm controlling it but most of the time i failed to do so but nvr regret it cause i feel that why do i want to hide it ?

being immature is not inhumane its not a sin people should not act on it as if its something bad !

I'm a cry-able person, i cry when sum one i love calls me stupid or anything bad, i cry when i get scolding from ppl..is this act immature ?

is screaming or shouting in joy when something u never thought you would get came thru ?

is needing to hug a person when ur sad ?

its really hard for adults to act so grown up at all times and somehow this flaw is in everyone like or not

i don't regret being super sensitive cause that's hoe i am, and i refuse to change..call me an ass but hell i will still act like a kid when want to cause for me its not immature =) yay !

A peacefull ending for my......DIPLOMA !!!!!!!

Just got my final semester results today, boy was I the happiest...never expected that I would actually do well after all the scary attempts I did during the exams.

Is not that I don’t have hope on myself but I have came 2 realise that I have been having a strange pattern of grades in my entire exam life. It goes like this;

School

UPSR: good
PMR: bad
SPM: good

College

SMSTR 1: good
SMSTR 2: bad
SMSTR 3: good
SMSTR 4: bad
SMSTR 5: good
SMSTR 6: SURPRISINGLY GOOD???????

I have had that grading pattern since schooling and in college exams to, and I swear I had the thought that I would fail my last semester jz because I actually believed in this pattern and hell was I shocked 2 see that I actually aced da papers and it did not follow the pattern ! damn!
i was super hyper throughout the da, couldn't sit in a place, was actually jumping around and annoying my family members and kept repeating ''i passed did u ''?

I'm finally a diploma graduate..all the hardwork paid off i guess,
diz shows i should keep studying and not claiming to be studyng =.=
I’m hoping this pattern will not occur ever again after this! Fingers crossed!!!!

p/s : congratulations 2 my fellow course mates who aced their test and those hu didn't wishing u all the luck =) u guys can do it !

Sibling rivalry

Ever felt jealous of your sibling/s every time they accomplish or get hold of something that you can’t get?? Well join the club.

I know siblings need to be happy for each other and I do for certain things but it’s sometimes hard to ….why I don’t know it has always been a mystery to me ?

Hypothetically in families, the younger child gets more attention in the family and oldest child gets da same attention more but in different quantity But, what about the middle child? Hello??? We are not invisible??? Or do we want to be?

I was born with two brothers younger and older, and to make it better or should I say wonderful my mom adores boys (she said it herself) so unconsciously they get more attention than I do, and consciously I get left out.

They always got what they wanted, and they achieved things that I want to achieve to but sadly I couldn't’t (I tried you know). Academically I was horrendous, I was intermediate when it came to education but surprisingly both my brothers have been too fantastic!!! both academically and socially, damn I was sooo effing pissed!

So both my parents gave more attention to them as they had more potential of becoming successful person, they did not tell me this but I could sense it that their attention was fully on my brothers and not me and when that happen it blinds them from my capabilities for instance I was a better swimmer than my younger brother, and I wanted to learn it and proved that I wanted to but I have x idea WHY did my dad get my brother a swimming instructor ( personal) to teach my brother 2 swim which he was clearly not interested in ? he wasted hundreds of dollars on him when I would have grabbed that opportunity to learn swimming.


Things like this did not happen once or twice but many-many times I had to fight for my parents attention, which I fail most of the time...i still don’t get it, I listen to whatever they say I don’t go against their wishes but yet they don’t see me that way ?

I guess I’m tired of fighting for their attention, I gave up, this whole thing wasn’t so bad after all
I manage to become more responsible. I came to k.l alone did things I never thought I could do on my own, so altogether I can survive on my own and I’m glad I came to my senses =)

I still love my family, n my brothers...I can never ever hate them no matter what

great day out

I'm finnly back at my hometown after months of not going home, was glad 2 see that i made some ppl miss me ha ha

before i returned home i had a small goodbye time vt my 2 besties jeya n sharon, coz thy actually think i may not com back to K.l anymore as our diploma has ended...bt i will com back that's for sure ^^

i had allot of fun actually on that day out, we ate, we laughed at al the dumbest things we did n the best part is we never realised the time passing

we watched LOSERS, a cool movie thou, defiantly recommended to watch, it was cute,funny and had tons of action with tons of pop corn (p/s TGV's pop corn's are awesome)

and then we started taking pictures as usual, when Jeya and Sharon has a camera they go wild

taking pictures of everything, and that's why they have all my ugly faced pictures in hostage, usually used 2 blackmail me ! errr

but it was fun thou..going home was kinda sad for me, bt i still cover line n put my brave face on and went back home..haih...i miss those 2 clowns..they have became a significant people in life

more like sisters then friends and i hope it stays this way forever....

Confused ????

Where do i go from here ? im done with my finnal exams, duno which i may kinda screwed it up alittle so i dont really know where that puts me.
k have been studyng like crazy for it but somehow i can never get a good gread, n it suprises me untill today...gosh how pathetic isnt it ?

i am able 2 take pressure at any level, its prooven so if i end up any colleges or universties im preety sure i would handle it fine.... but the question is now will i b abl 2 cope with study level ? i mean degree subjects aint easy, i saw the sylybbus im needed to study to have my degree in psychology.

studyng has not been a good thing for me, i study but i still end up scrwing everything up, i have no idea why, and thats why for my degree im doubting on how can i convince my dad to invest his money (tons of it) on me when i dont have anything to prove that im worth it ? my resutls of my diploma is fairly good ( a little embarassing actualy ) which is not going to help me at all

i dont know if i should countinue doing my degree for noe, if i dont job wise im gone, i barely found any social centres that wants diploma holders as their counsellors....everything i have planned is goin out of direction...

hoping and working for the better....

Wat in da world am i doin here =.=''

After years of persuasion frm my dearly annoying friends i have finnaly created a blog.. another reason for creating this blog is also coz im bored 2 death, not even my dead granmthr can help me out of this haha..

Anyways im not so good at writting down my thoughts but hell i could try it out and who noes i will actualy hang of it, but for nw i need 2 get a hang of how to write my thoughts without being shy *doin the so-called counsellor face* as i have an incredibly aloooot of embarrsing stuff that not many people know so this is where its gonna ''debut''



so till my next post
ceerioz ! ;