DEGREE AT HELP UNI

As planned me n Sharon went to check out our future university ( maybe ) which was HELP do continue pursuing psychology...it al went well till da price of the course came out, i think i had a 10 seconds heart attack...i hope its worth it cause when my dad sees this he'll blast.. n maybe ban me from ever coming here...i couldn't help worrying about the 1st semester fees cause obliviously its way expensive and as for PTPTN, i can only apply for it in the second semester and there is no scholarships for 1st year students...so financial aid is out..I'm left with depending on my dad now..well lets c what happens

HERE'S A GLIMPSE OF WHAT I HAVE OR MY DAD HAS TO PAY IF I GO TO HELP UNI

SO THIS IS WHERE I START AND STARTED CRYING : (

THIS IS VERY DEPRESSING..gosh..

Spelling Mississippi

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: 'Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! .. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.' The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,' she retorted indignantly. 'In this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives. 'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who a talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my friend how to spell ' Mississippi '.

****HAHA CLDNT STOP WONDERING HOW THE HELL SOMEONE COULD COME UP WITH THIS..SUPER CUTE ***

Bend It Like You Mean It

I'm scared that one day I'll lose him

I'm scared he'll no more be THE ONE

I'm scared there will b no one to be there when i need someone

I'm scared he finds no connection between us

I'm scared if I'm no more attractive and boring and annoying and irritating or stupid

I'm scared if he runs out of love for me...

**************I'm insecure*****************


I don't wanna trust

I don't wanna get hurt again

He has loved me for who i am.. a selfish annoying ugly looking fat brat
I'll hold him always...his one thing I'll never regret..my brownie boo =)

I SHALL CHANGE...

ahoy !! depression

i haf been wondering around or should i say loitering, at home and everywhere else for the past 3 months doing absolutely nothing progressive or anyhting usefull....

i tried getting a job but its just not working out well n i have no idea why ??? i feel so crappy, im like this overgrown child living with her parents without contributing anything but a troblesome to them. gosh, living at home and doing nothing is so depressing...

i should be in a uni by august ( hopefully) and i haf to start working part time to support myself ( thnx to my big mouth of boosting i cn support myself) as in extra poket money to buy stuff i dont need like clothes, shoes and the list goes on...and on...

may god bless me....

i don't know whether its me but why does all my good intentions turn bad ??? i try so hard to make things work the way it should but it never works out..Gosh ! its sooo super crappy ???
i give up trying to please people and making everything work...that's it

I'm doing everything my way !

Its all over...

I knew him, like no one else, attached to him like no one else...he was my crush once and was very good friend..once...

I knew him 4 about two years, we became so close in such a short period of time, there was always a caring thought between us and i thought this would never change and believing that i fell so hard for him, like i never did for anyone else.

Suddenly everything changed, he changed and disappeared, with no traces of coming back to me..there i was wondering where did i go wrong ? did i do something ? there i was giving up on finding love..and i did, every guy i met after that, i never had solid feelings for them, they were thought as someone who will be gone after a few months.

After awhile he came back to me, i never showed my disappointment or hate towards him but i just accepted him as friend back...he went because of another girl which he was crazy for and that's why he forgets the world and me...it hurts so much to know that my feelings and my friendship meant that much for him..and he came back after getting himself betrayed..imagine the thoughts that had been running through my mind banging to come out...

Its been months we were friends again. He was now only my friend that feeling of love had vanished, i cannot look at him like i use to when i adored him.

And now this relationship has become nothing but awkward as i have again lost him as a good friend ... he has fallen for me now, and when he told me this all i could do was laugh...this guy who i was crazy for before this has now like me allot , and i cant have any feelings for him, i cannot bring myself to like him back...i hurt him, and i feel so bad for rejecting him and his courage to tell him he likes me....I'm so sorry...I'll never forget him that's for sure...hope he meets someone who makes his life a better one...I'll pray...

Power of Nothing

here i am sitting and wondering am doing the right thing whether will i make a fool out of these people. i always thought i had less circle of love around me, but somehow everything seems to be changing, those thoughts are gone and it became vice versa. i have become a neutral person.

most of the time all i did was try to please people and never really bothered what i felt and how will i end up but why the sudden change ? why don't i feel this way ?

i have no more sympathy for people like i used to, jealousy is raging inside mixed with anger and revenge and i make people stoop so low for me, begging for me and i don't give a glance or have a tiny bit of pity.

what kind of a person have i become ? is this how i become after all the pain and betrayal i have gotten and being so nice to people who never appreciated it ? is this how Im going to be for the rest of my life, being cynical n skeptical in whatever people offer or say to me ?am i a passive aggressor ?

people are viewing me as a great person now when I'm this way, they look up to me as i am no more a coward like i used to be, silent and a placater who never wants to hurt any one's feelings. i feel so powerful and somehow i am liking this attitude.

but thoughts do linger, should i be doing this for my own satisfaction ? should i be selfish ?

Truth Can Hurt..Like It Or Not...

Things can never go they way we planed either wil it go as we wish it would..but why ? its our life why cant we decide what we want ot whats good for us. sometimes i wonder are v a living robot where our life's journey has been al decided without us knowing whats going to happen or whether what has been planned for us to go through is what we want ?

humans are created with a complex thinking and sometimes thinking can just run wild it may sound absurd or senseless to peoople but it may be true in a way.

i have always thought my life was created crappy and i always ask myslef why is it that way ? And all i do is say "its my fate". i barely get what i want although i work for it so hard, wheras people who dont give a damn, gets it. i have wanted so many things in life, but i'm still scratching the bottom level of nothing.

Now, what i would like to know form that dearest person who had planned my life without me is ermmm ? where is my happiness ? where's my talent ? when am i to acheive something in life ? did you forget to put it in ? or what ? do tell me ?? im sick of working my ass off doing things which always fails...

its true i dont have a talent.,.i can't draw,dance, sing, play an instrument,study ....and..it..goes..on
and dont say i didnt try..i did repatedly and i suck.. i have wasted haf my life chasing things i can never get, should i be doing that still ? should i stop and give up and become a loser like i was suppose to ?...the questions remain...

IRRITATING LIKE NO OTHER

Irritating has become like a passion to me. why u ask me ? well its just plain fun !
the expression on people's face when irritated is like one in a million. and to make it all fun-er i was born with sarcasm. I'm sarcastic to everyone around me and no one likes itwhen its done on them but if i say it to ither people its funny ! people dont like cause its usually my sarcasticness is like a slap on the face and some what embarrasing.

Before anyone says i have a psychological problem, well i don't. Being irritating and sarcastic is just my thing...its comes naturally... ha ha. Besides its a gift i should use it..OFTEN :p