Power of Nothing

here i am sitting and wondering am doing the right thing whether will i make a fool out of these people. i always thought i had less circle of love around me, but somehow everything seems to be changing, those thoughts are gone and it became vice versa. i have become a neutral person.

most of the time all i did was try to please people and never really bothered what i felt and how will i end up but why the sudden change ? why don't i feel this way ?

i have no more sympathy for people like i used to, jealousy is raging inside mixed with anger and revenge and i make people stoop so low for me, begging for me and i don't give a glance or have a tiny bit of pity.

what kind of a person have i become ? is this how i become after all the pain and betrayal i have gotten and being so nice to people who never appreciated it ? is this how Im going to be for the rest of my life, being cynical n skeptical in whatever people offer or say to me ?am i a passive aggressor ?

people are viewing me as a great person now when I'm this way, they look up to me as i am no more a coward like i used to be, silent and a placater who never wants to hurt any one's feelings. i feel so powerful and somehow i am liking this attitude.

but thoughts do linger, should i be doing this for my own satisfaction ? should i be selfish ?