Paranoid freak !

Is it ok in giving up on your hopes ? especially if have of ur hopes don't come true ? I'm so tired right now, i hoped for so many things and everything just gets destroyed ! I feel so hopeless, I'm losing out on the life I'm suppose to have, I'm so disappointed with myself. How did i end up this way ?? i had big plans for myself and there's is no more plans anymore left. I'm tired of trying so much now, I'm letting myself slack, and let things go with the flow. There is no more the need for me to put i n my effort anymore.

Weird things has been happening lately to me, my body hurts in places that scares the hell out of me, i haven got myself checked either, my friends are getting weirder by the day, my mom and i would have more wars now, I'm being paranoid about death, and this freaks me out that sometimes when i see people sleeping and i would wait till i see that person tummy going in and out *inhaling and exhaling* and finally my love live is getting crappier by the day *unexpectedly*.... this is all for now..its so weird for me, i cant think straight sometimes and I'm now officially scared for myself.....am i gonna die ? or is something bad is gonna happen to me and that why I'm going through all these weired occasions ??

I'm paranoid as ever. :(