ANNOYED, STUPID, GRUPMY FART

I feel so down right now...i wanted to get lasiks eye surgery since my eye sight power is like 400 right now so i went on the net to survey this place where they are actually famous in K.L for their eye surgeries and so i emailed them about my doubts after that, and so i received my reply today fro them, well it broke my heart when the reply stated RM 2000 for per eye :( :( everyone i knew said that lasik's were now very cheap and i it really got my hopes up, but nw its all flushed down the stinky poop filled toilet bowl ! i don't know whether to be sad or furious with myself right now. its always like ! when i hope for something it never happens, i mean come on !!! its for my eyes, its not like I'm gonna spend on shopping or what so it is important to me so why wont my hope come true ??? gosh I'm sooooo mad right now !

I wasted money of those stupid contact lenses which i get seem to fet it into my freaking eye balls ! such a simple thing and i still cant do i mean how useless am i ???? i already feel like an idiot for my having hopes that gonna end up being shattered now i feel useless and stupid !

Now, i 'll look more like an idiot woth my stupid ugly spectacles, which would make my undereye black patch worse thn its aleady is.

I dont mean to be ungratefull of what i have, so to people out there whom i told this to, you dont have to tell me thta somepeople cant even see and i should be thankfull, but i am thankfull that i can still see, but i still cant barely see without my glases now so thats why i need that surgery or that stupid contact lenses.....

Exams !

Finals are so close its basically in a week and i haven't been studying much, i know I'm not studying but i just cant get myself to sit down and study...i so hate this.. I'm doing everything else but studying..i only have 2 papers this semester and I'm still not being thankfully for the extra time i have compared to my other classmates who has 3 heavy subjects....I'm still wondering if i made the right go choice of continuing my studies...I'm regretting more than being positive with my choice..but its kinds to late to turn back noe..to much money and time has been put in, my parents would go ballistic if they know I'm quitting....damn...i hope i pass :( :( I'm gonna be the only one sitting in the exam hall scratching my head or i would most probably be crying which i do allot during exams when i don't know what I'm reading... 23rd &24th my judgment day...lets see what happens

Owh ! and i posted previously about a friend of mine and how he ruined a good friendship & one of u asked what happened at the end.. well, today everything ended. We are no more on talking terms, i guess he was defiantly a drama queen, making a huge deal for nothing, being well educated and all he still cant think..one thing is for sure I'm never going on a plane that he's flying :D ha ha anyways i do hope he finds that girl whom i know he would cz that girl would oni exist in his dreams bt its oki I'll help you hope... well there is nothing more to say noe, maybe it was for the better, as this friendship was never meant to workout, it was nice knowing you though, you were a good listener, to what ever i said and you always had something too talk about, but it doesn't matter now :)

goodbye...

I accepted u as a friend, i made it clear from the beginning that i was already in a relationship so why in the world would wanna spoil the friendship we created by saying you have fallen for me ? you were the one that i could always talk to, we shared so many things together as friends, and nw its all over. I'm sorry if i did not make myself clear when i told u i was dating someone who i love with all my heart even before we gotta know each other so why is all this happening now... i a have lost many guy friends cause I'm with some one so now what I'm suppose to be single for the rest of my life just to have friends ??? you are so freaking educated come on don't you think ???? here goes another friend..hope you live a happy life cz I'm nt gonna speak to you no more.. Everything ends here, I'm sorry for giving you hopes i guess.. owh & thnx for everting dat u hav done for me.. take care 

Sisters

Since I was a kid I had always wanted a sister. Being in a family where I only had two brothers I always had to do what they did, until you know, to  a certain age where i actually found my own friend and before that my brothers friends were my friends too...yeapp,.. I had lotsa guy friends back then . I still remember the days when I used to pester my mom to have another baby sister, but obviously she ignored me :( i used to be so envious of my friends whom had sisters. As I was growing up, I hated it, seeing them wearing the same clothes, playing dolls & sharing stuff with each other and so on although most of them who had sisters said that having a sister are a nuisance, and that they rather have brothers, but I still didn't change my mind on having a sister.
As years passed on, I did not get the sister I wanted and so I just had to settle with the 2 buffaloes I have.
But in all honesty,  I do love my brothers as they are always there to protect me and hey, being the only girl in the family isnt do bad, i get lil more privalages than they do and ofcourse I tend to get a lil more attention from everyone else than my brothers do hah !

My Passion :)

I have started liking cooking just recently, i don't know why but i found that i feel calm and i tend to not worry when I'm cooking, it all started when i had my 3 month break, where i sat at home and was so bored that i was going through my family's heirloom, which was my great grandmother's cookbook. And i first started off with cookies which wasn't so good though, but then i tried again, and it was not bad, it was a mixture of London almond chocolate cookies and choc chip cookie, don't ask me how i did it. Anyways, i went on to try Milo jelly and it was OK to except i ruined it with lesser sugar. than i started off with cake which was an epic failure ha ha luckily i was smart enough to get the premix dough which was cheaper yet i still fail.

So i decided pastries are not my thing but dishes. i started cooking Indian dishes, then Chinese and hey all turned out gewd, and then i started doing dishes according to my taste, without a cookbook ! i feel so happy when I'm cooking, i don't worry, i don't get tensed, i have found something i love to do :)

I'm gonna go back to baking pastries now, since I'm not good at it, i would like to improve myself on that, especially doing vegan pastries, cz my parents are vegan's :) and they are gonna be my rats & but I'll start off with non-vegan fisrt and hmm i wanna try to bake macrons and then cheesecakes...will see..i would so wanna go for cooking classes now, so people if you know any in Kuala Lumpur please do tell me :)

finnals :(

Finnals is in 2 weeks ! freaking out with so many things running through my head...haih..die

Emotional Monsoon

My parents have just gone home to Kedah,i still haven't told them anything about it. after seeing them i went home, and someone had to come threatened me to tell them, i mean come on I'm freaking 21 years old. i know your worried about me and its so sweet of you but do i still need to put my parents through this ? GOD why do you test me this way. please have mercy, and let me live my life, i think i have suffered enough. now withe them fonding out they're gonna be worried, and my parents have enough to think of already, i love them so much, so plz let me free and let them live their lives without having a burden or blaming themselves for what has happen, its not their fault. in a months time i hope it turns out okay, it doesn't need to be a perfect level, but just keep it safe ..plzzz... *fingers crossed*