Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Finnaliiii its overrr !
Gracia's everyone !
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Where'd You Go ???
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBDv30peeRYoe7P0BL4URwyDyvuQdraNGT_qdjno3qwfeFkIvKne2YZmpgWJ1W9dpQIIgtyXHsfdUHGjnT5pBtSf5_XlfaBqbsyC2YIgZBBXjIGb_0sHq4C1xDSHkUSvho7hjQSQRUcA4/s320/Confused-Heart.jpg)
You would also fight for me, but now it doesn't matter anymore ? why ? are you that sure that i wont turn away from you just because i gave you my word or the enormous amount of love that i show you everyday ? I'm trying to keep my love for you strong but i just cant help feeling its not going to last for long. I fear this sweetheart, and your not helping this feelings go away...
You are showing that I'm no more your priority like i use to be ? you don't see me often but why do i feel like you chasing me away every time we meet ?
Every time you say "i love you" i smile but deep down i cant believe those words much....
I missed the old you... but i cant force you to be someone your not right ? its up to you to decide, its your life to...
Friday, December 17, 2010
So called fat body ?? get a life...
You wanna see fat ? i wil show you fat ! so stop saying your fat, and pretending to diet and stuff cause no one CARES !
Yummm !
WHEN I SAY NO...IT MEANS NO
HALLELUJAH !
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjltzDXM_0vlZ6Dv64kUcpJFV30Kx-cZsopS5BPDvcy7PwrXKIhpXESzqHynHCiD9fzTY_ZxW04ZF-XMdVNLgkhJEIRhFI7HQCx3Y5A_hw3_O9wHr72Yuwh9Nwlvph-gZFXMKbDjkWG2fI/s320/images.jpg)
suicide ??
We know you love her so much but common you have 6o year old parents who needs you more than anyting ! she's not into anymore than move on, even if its hard, but you should think of the consequences of you killing youself...
may u rest in peace anyways....
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Effin Pissing OFFFFFFFFF !!!!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfLOJPVMH4s40WZpR0Ibyhlk4rej63MGWIBCXMqe6aTaMosDBEMYt4LBdumwH4WxgeFWr-hohKX02U14jiA9hNo4yPHTL-KVln-YYzq-ciQZH1MDqTSQ1yd4vl0EYsgi3MOVXQxlYCGxc/s320/angry2.gif)
Monday, December 6, 2010
Crazy !
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0q2nmual1_L9tzdBU80tDnJ2anGM1WVBQas0XcUtPTRXv5N8jMgVDl2yiiCuXlAoX7OlLP83xtL78YPXiy8eTe0WndpzUicpCfyg8UI0hiLpcwH6DNrJYb1yOITUcMEEueOWkqhxTbPo/s320/Exams_by_bellxun.jpg)
Here i am after sooo long :D well have been busy with assignments and social service trips, had a blast for my 1st year 1st semester :)well now its coming 2 an end, damn fast ay ? i started in September and I'll be done by da 15Th of December.
Been stressed out the whole time actually cause of my pending loan application, maths subject and the amount of tiredness that took over...damn
Anyways, finals are starting on the 8Th *wish me luck* gonna go cold turkey with facebook and tumblr :(
Till then...sayonara <3
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Slipping away...
U were thr wen i needed u..nw ur not
U always showed me how much u loved me..nw u dont
U always told me how precious I'm am to u...nw u dont
U always called me 1st every time u wake up and before u sleep..nw its a burden fr u
U use to say tht without talking to me a day is crazy bt now u can go days without talking to me
U always said sorry when v fight now everything is my fault
U used to luv me talking baby talk to u..now its just a normal thing for u
Ur changing..slipping away...will thr be a future for us anymore ? im not sure for the first time...I love u but i dont know if we can still go on with this
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Happy Birthday to meeeee
Buttt, yup there's but.....there is a flood going on now here at Kedah and so happen my place is also affected, the water level has been on the rise, my family and i have been running around collecting water and saving important stuff...so its nt gonna be a good birthday or a good Diwali this year...i hoping the water level goes down i need to head back to KL ! I HAVE COLLEGE ! and quizzes and assignments to hand in ...I'm screwed that's for sure....
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6CHKTwuQ-sq1cnrTe8UKzWlLkGar-D1mhnZ4HMy4fnh5ibloG8JmxsLjvCRgZPFyV2_r0UUxMEhJGO-mLmDdc7i1iLCPeqP-n5L98EaQ1FVfL91Jz5vGyxoGgzce6gQ2B-Tf7xEkmD68/s320/toy-house-flood-credit-lg.jpg)
PLUS
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-C-NLzu2hVeo0fkEsXyQ6EgI69n5g8hObCMi2H_ZLrl4gaSpZSNYdQbTcibk4UMJr45hFGGuL17CQv3c1fOE7t5RgH1WczItX0_CbEr6k_npmmekTJkgLKT6bgWKU8qEB22t6s0ugiJQ/s320/cake_birthday.jpg)
NOT A GOOD THING TO LOOK FORWARD TO !! ARGGGG
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
hOME sWEET hOME
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGtvarJZEvjXzG851H-v5OG6WX4tkXuFyDttcenrGfv6nnV14YbRGhF33w2RbiStW2h82MUR0kUNB0RNDunjV0sJWKf4QYXFTXWwm0tBItjqUZ59vCQkdokhfB4UDgKKBGxoWOkqQ_ePM/s320/diwali.jpg)
Friday, October 29, 2010
Trip to Hospital Bahagia
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3DcM4Q-CXzELDCkvxaSFsJyfxzOlAww73UktHm0sO5T2VLhufkfHUOWpcJoRwi6Ig0StoTDNpPPuo_W8OTfForXyWAHp8a4a51VFL1Zq142q-EGUBSZkh0c3AvwJyVoEJfbdbRP47DtQ/s320/71528_447028180381_554755381_5558678_282620_n.jpg)
Here are some pictures that were taken, we weren't allowed to take picture of the building and the patients there so i only took pictures of what we were allowed to take.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5_Wl3n41MbSQHLmyzgGibkATAKmbZBi2oooRW8dfwYNHn6Kzzo9c5N-uyYRycTeJn3HrQPp5-pzvW8jKOZ3o29a_Zo7ncXDG1lfu1776SHsWbqvOHO_8_JLKkVhF3WYxw0jgbGk7eilg/s320/33711_447036225381_554755381_5558788_4808183_n.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEuB1dTy4N-3kMp3w5Jdhk4m5vUK8aUMF9ekqyHbGUjC-bVqiE6NWH0BTpmf0HZjX3-Qu105wpyJsxAQSR8eqTpu-_Afmi-s3F6W3d7JLThnlSM5a3VY5zeM6zGF6qv5D6Y1hTgxJNl1Q/s320/33486_447036575381_554755381_5558798_6455767_n.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkIBwnMLzslsZ4ogAVVKqNWcoFNkVFNj3ugB9CoFdT4mYaVwjyr8z4STS3v-ijBBTgtf40oX0NCBF64UIWhUBfaDaJ4ItqT3Wru227ueR7c83PMhtdadrJNzG99FfMnbmtztygAEuRlyI/s320/68722_447035455381_554755381_5558767_690214_n.jpg)
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Crappy-errr by the day
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTAEB38SgnvFC649Y7vZDs7uOxogvhGeULyIKwJJbzqbGg7UW7MhX90Pr5eLox6tSxXLx_DEsQdZrFvW6wQWJJY7kEsL2e7tfUOUqqS25CLwDhxytDypxSGVs7y9eKpo_kpMO6WgpgH68/s320/tumblr_lahnajrna61qcd2ioo1_400.jpg)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
DIEEEE !
but what sickens me is that people who doesn't work hard or go through the worse case scenario to get things they want so easily ?
i know life's unfair but common ? I'm being practical with my needs its not like I'm asking for something totally out of league ???? for instance i work so hard to complete my documents which FYI i had 2 go around practically begging these people to get my documents done i spent days and money completing my paper work so i can have my loan approved to pay my fees for the next semester ...so you tell me what wrong did i do here ? ?
i know certain people out there you have the power to control certain things and you are actually the one who decides their fate, in my case its obliviously the loan authorities, if they do not approve my loan since they are able to decide whether they wanna let me finish my studies or else I'll be left behind in certain subjects due to lack of financial support
i don't know what the hell is wrong but this has ti change..or I'll go psycho !
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Bec0mIng a DesPeRad0
really girl where's Ur pride ? Ur a disgrace 2 all women, putting a guy on a pedestal for what ? for using bad words on u or threatening everyone around you ? or may Ur still attracted to him cause he protects you from all your closest friend ?
common Ur a high scorer and a simple thing like this you cant figure out ???? dude !
i hope you open your eyes, you hurting your parents and you definitely hurt me by going back to him....
i told you he was not a good choice but u still went and got hurt, but i did not tell you i told you so but u know what this time I'm gonna laugh my ass of n say I TOLD YOU SO !
U DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT....just make a smart decision.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Life is so complicated...
i want to study so i deserve to get the loan why the hell is people who don't wanna study but for the sake of the money the lie and they still end up getting it. I'm so tired of being patient and sucking up to people who doesn't even care if my efforts work or not, but i still have to cause i need it ! so understand what I'm going through people !
its either god really doesn't like me or I'm just have bad luck written all over my face.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Get well soon !
He went to a normal clinic and they suspected he had dengue so he went to GH all alone :( but they said it was normal fever :D i felt relived.
He's having his exams, god bless..hope he does well and most important he gets well faster !
Love him 2 bits <3
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I’m young doesn’t mean...
Wonder...
What a girl can do....for u
A girl can only cry so much, that once she runs out of tears, she gets up, and realizes she needs to stay strong, and forgets about your ass. A girl can only put up with so many lies, so many bullshit, that sooner or later, she will stand up for herself. A girl can only get played, so many times, that one day.. she decides she can’t put up with this, and becomes afraid to love again.
A girl can only put up with so many “I’m sorry”s, that one day, sorry will never be enough. A girl can only listen to your words, for so long, that one day, she will get tired of just hearing words and she will soon look for some action. A girl can only get her hopes up so many times, when you tell her you’re going to do this and that, that she’ll get tired of being left disappointed, and move on.
A girl can only get treated so bad, that one day, an amazing man will walk into her life, and he will treat her way better than you ever did.It’s your lost. And you’re going to regret it.
Friday, September 3, 2010
New Begining !
I would be taking 4 subjects for this semester, its kinda allot for students at help, i don't know why cause at tarc we took 6 subjects the max for 3 smtrs and then 2 was da minimum. but yeah at this level the exams would be heavier but then i need to finish up my 1st year subjects since I'm technically in my second year since I'm from TAR Cllg.
So anyways, its been so freaking tiring travelling, i need to travel for 2 hours each to go and come back home from college, money has been flowing like water for transportation and food. stuff here is so effin' expensive, everthing you touch need money. gosh i don't know how am i going to survive with the travelling and expensive food, but I'm left choice less....
Hope i made a good choice...fingers crossed !
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
STUPID THOUGHTS HANGING IN THE AIR....
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdOcjm0cNZd8JqwZn9Rr_6wbXT6dC9YUIHd2MmptMb8MtOMEVQrQffBIhNmG4gvVhEOjz7gHn_w-a28CtQOnKj990m0poJhXCQo2y2A-8K-PN-P2PfNDGHBKXxMnxpz9IaUqqlcJZ6mhU/s320/storyfive.jpg)
Friday, August 13, 2010
Fragile...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCXARBquVNwslwFyzXEknyqEOsejsxKT4HkwbQe6F8No-09H01sCHUCzPmEdfcT2VEVUXqmCDYs8RjhVMsOXoZbIWaKXqSdmYm0mnTknrU9PX_anJwk6hwPHfEs65WROWnxiSSJ-QJhno/s320/tumblr_ksmk0tZ7rQ1qa6e1d.jpg)
It’s my life and I would like it to go the way I desire it to.
But that doesn’t signify I’m a heartless person.
I’m sensitive and you know it. I cry for little things even though you think it’s for silly reasons, but that’s the individual I am and you know that but why do you have to go say things that will always be jammed in my mind forever.
I don’t want to hate you cause I have given you all I’ve got.
You promised to take care of my heart and I hope you will keep your promise as you are on your way to break it…..
Wanting "life" nearby...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPbEh0sD97iP8bslR0TAhzH_mrTHfWe9t_jRVu0y6ZFSa9POr0Wu9yoRUzgleaYTSdluzkI-i02320_j6DD0q_KUM1_I-g6rS-iRY8Zp8C080HG9HlC7FypSRl9LnPwi_cR5FrvhULGZc/s320/sad_girl2.jpg)
I hate this so effing much!
I want the people I love to be close to me always, it feels so wrong when I have fun without them. I want my circle of love to be complete just me and all the people I love to be around where everyone genuinely loves each other and appreciates whatever that we got to offer. I have been disappointed with most of the things in my life cause I never got what I want, but this is something I authentically want for the rest of my live.
It’s not a nice feeling when you see the people around you having their loved one beside them always worrying about you or caring for you. It hurts to see that these people have what I want and never appreciates it.
All I want is the ones I love to be with me….for always
I know this ain't gonna happen but I a girl can still hope…cant she????
Hypocrites even when their old..SHOCKER
People like this has managed to disgust me form top to bottom. They lie, become a two faced pig and act all nice in front of whereas behind you they act as vicious snakes spitting venom on you without you knowing and corrupting others with their wicked thoughts of you to other.
They are a family and this is not the way you portray yourself as a family. Grow up people stop acting immature and be and adult like your age suggest . If you have a problem then say it to the face instead of being a coward that you already are.
I'm way younger than all of you but i am able to think that whatever that you people are doing isn't wise, so why cant you guys figure that being a disgusting hypocrite is not going to solve anything ?
Please repent..before its to late...
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Calm Down People !
Is this how the Malaysians are going to solve issues in the future ? well if they are then say toddles to the remaining peace in Malaysia.
Seems to be violence have become a solution for everyone. One whack and punch solves a problem...well apparently they do solve it but hell that's not how you solve a problem ???? people you have been given brains and mouths to talk and solve things out by using it wisely not your fists and legs.
You may say that some people are not going to listen to you if you don't whack but ask yourself if you don't want to listen to something you don't like would you like to get whacked for that ?
I don't think so, unless ur some kinda psycho freak who likes pain.
Violence doesn't solve anything, like the above boys in the video has ended up in jail with a criminal record that's going to be there for the rest of their lives. how i know this ? well it was written by the person who posted it. So, whats good about bashing up someone for a permanent criminal record and embarrassment ?
I'm not being a sexist or what but men really needs to learn how to abuse people who are weaker than them lesser. i know it makes you look macho and stuff but in reality it makes you look like an uneducated brainless hooligan. If you want to show off the macho side of you then pick on someone who's your size or maybe bigger than you, that will make you look all manly wouldn't it ?
As for women, come on stop bashing your own kind its not cool. You want to get your man back please don't whack each other it only makes the guy happy not you.
ANOTHER THING IS STOP ABUSING ANIMALS ! you buy a pet to love it and take care of it not whack it when it barks or pee at the wrong places. Come one even puppies are being whacked for that. they dont have a voice to speak up so for god sakes stop abusing animals. stop pouring hot water on them, throw stuff at them or kick them. Its a heartless thing to do !
So people out there stop whacking each other, or bombing for a matter of fact, its not the solution...unless they really ask for it ha ha...but still ...
Peace !
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBg0jV5YttFzH6acyJbj4RM14otfYYPVQWvoo5aoKxNihbZPMVl3DWN6iSr7rthd-39XqBIf4tM-uxa7I9fDDXhe-nP-RP_anWEc9ShqWWjglWCotEqhhFlybcSo8dO6oBmsSsxXzmIr4/s320/peace+national+geographics.jpg)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
HomeComin !
It was SO nice to see my mum and dad, and manja2 with my dad again..missed him allot .
my mum has become this super uber ultra talkative women, guess all those months alone at home has burst out when she had people back home..it was cute but then annoying to.
went to send my younger bro to his rented house where he is living as he is studying in a college there. He's all grown up, was so proud to see him use all those big words, and the way he acts all grown up-ish when he talks to me, it was cute. missed fighting with him as he apparently has no time for that now cause he need to study...righhttt !
Then visited my grandma, that poor lady is alone now cause there's no more grandchildren left in Alor star so she's less active now. i felt bad for her, so to cheer her a little me my mom and my elder bro took her out lunch, and talked and laughed, and indeed it cheered her up.
Then went home packer my stuff and it was goodbye Alor star.
and now I'm back at kl sitting her and blogging and missing my hometown and the people in it
have no idea when i could go back there after this since I'm starting at HELP Uni on the 25Th.
Boohoo...
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Biggest Gainer Asia !
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI0-bUwdrpvEHrJNCIRaANPpaPDP7GF__jr6cJZbRbEU001_-UY62nAwiCvMI2yoJryp-MET0qeRQw4dLTF-p8VwDsJ28lcDJOzL30m6-2g8_DmX2JCYM0o4_jnpyyRxSEHApa13jnBHg/s320/images.jpg)
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Scared of Nothing
maybe its cause of some decisions i made on my own a few months a go, some is not really good once and those are the once who may turn out to have bad consequences.
I'm not sure what is it but i just want it 2 go away...when I'm trying to have fun and actually live my life suddenly this annoying feeling pops out and poops my time and i become some sort of depress.
apparently I'm not getting along with technology well either...phone corrupted..lap top is being possessed by the slow ghost..
damn..
the depression ( sort off) is on the GO !
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_eC5MwB6pjmwV4vAGXCYlIaEKbNkcR0CM2H35RfFWweUgcj7cxQk9ZF_Qcha13y8p6HiX3t0V7_WuGlrgLZhkFy58qpIUGH-eLWs7TVdoA0870RONS2x7E1phzdUp59tymkuqkQDv2Qg/s320/imagesCAL5W3OV.jpg)
Lame ??
I know...
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Homesick...
This time I went back I spent allot of time with my parents especially dad since both my brothers were away..so i had all the attention ( which i don't usually get ) to myself.
me n my parents went out for dinners frequently went shopping or just go hang around shopping complexes...i had the best one month there. And I'm missing all those moments where i would sit with my appa and talk all the nonsense and make fun of my amma, to see my dad smile is like the biggest thing ever cause he doesn't do it often, so when he laughs or smiles its like a big thing for me.
the day i left my hometown i did not get the chance to give him a hug, cause the train had to move fast so i had to rush up and i couldn't hug him...hated that aloottttt ..erggg
i miss my appa allot..and i love him so very much :)
i miss amma as she was the only one who i got to debate with and fight with
i miss my Lil bro to, the times we spent talking and telling our personal stories and arguing over stupid things
i miss everything there now and i want to go home
and i will..soon ^^
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPBeOTy7nKtoXL3JNh6BDJ-HlV2tzibfLeuAkAUfmYuB8-ByQU0E36UMFCzTCvjhPjpS_n6RhbkDv_5isEe6uwLEW__4eROh7xl_F5DOUAuCpBVi-FMT4AG8fLSAMM5TStVynaAOAbhY8/s320/daughter-human-mother_~u15154031.jpg)
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Sex and The City.......... TWO !!!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjdcw4TtD9fYTPw3lwqDWInnpEXbQnuJZlsZGDBDs3idd3IqErYpXYJXDoajyR0MPiAepfNpiI_EYQMFYCmwsbRYsQsJm6HQhz7mxBvaB8K2bu8nF0vpR-kjm7UYUcymiVinPLycjjx2s/s320/sex-and-the-city.jpg)
It was an awesome movie not going to regret watching in even if I accidentally splashed coke into my nose while watching the movie…
The movie goes like this it was set two years after the first film. The four friends now have lives that are more stressful than before: All are married except for Samantha, who is now 52 and trying to keep her libido alive with hormones while dealing with menopause; Miranda quits her job having frequently been gestured to silence; Charlotte's two children are a handful and is worried that Harry is attracted to their bra-less nanny, Erin (Alice Eve); and Carrie's marriage to Mr. Big has settled down, she always wants to go out, he would prefer to stay home, feeding on take-out meals and watching television.
Meanwhile, Samantha is approached by an Arab sheikh to devise a PR campaign for his business, and he offers to fly her and her friends on an all-expenses-paid luxury vacation to Abu Dhabi.
Carrie is runs into her former lover Aidan and agrees to a dinner date and also left her passport in a small shoe stand * part were me n Sharon went turn back, u left your passport like she could hear us* … while walking in a moment of passion, the two kiss. Carrie deals with the question of whether or not to tell big which she does eventually.
While on a date with Rikard, Samantha was detained for having sex on the beach, and claims to be kissing. With the Sheik's intervention, Samantha is released, their luxurious perks are no longer paid for. With an hour till check out, or their next $22,000 nightly charge, they pack their bags for departure. After a few more mishaps like looking for Carrie’s passport and Samantha’s outburst they leave Abu Dhabi and arrive home safe in the USA. Carrie returns home to find Mr. Big missing and when he does he got her with a black diamond ring as a punishment *Carrie doesn’t like wearing wedding ring* THE END.
Movie was all cool, but surprisingly men were there…or should I say horny old men??? What reasons do these uncles have to watch a girlie flick??? They came in while flirting with girls that could be their daughters...Disgusting…
Somehow people did figure out these men were not Malaysians and they only came because there was “sex” in the title...And the best part is they forgot its Malaysia...it’s all censored...
So that made the day awesome-err ^^
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi78fKF6FzTz-GxvISW3xkn9eCdfuzhDuk3mUlij6_QRL0T9yZIttLLCq_ukQ27LdsXx-GTGvNH2ItZnmx9wh4tNYV2BDicuLg5HP6db5twujekKThjx642d59qKd2nd3Ujgayp9Tx8bi0/s320/sex-and-the-city-2.jpg)
Saturday, June 26, 2010
DEGREE AT HELP UNI
HERE'S A GLIMPSE OF WHAT I HAVE OR MY DAD HAS TO PAY IF I GO TO HELP UNI
SO THIS IS WHERE I START AND STARTED CRYING : (
THIS IS VERY DEPRESSING..gosh..
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Spelling Mississippi
****HAHA CLDNT STOP WONDERING HOW THE HELL SOMEONE COULD COME UP WITH THIS..SUPER CUTE ***
Friday, June 18, 2010
Bend It Like You Mean It
I'm scared that one day I'll lose him
I'm scared he'll no more be THE ONE
I'm scared there will b no one to be there when i need someone
I'm scared he finds no connection between us
I'm scared if I'm no more attractive and boring and annoying and irritating or stupid
I'm scared if he runs out of love for me...
**************I'm insecure*****************
I don't wanna trust
I don't wanna get hurt again
He has loved me for who i am.. a selfish annoying ugly looking fat brat
I'll hold him always...his one thing I'll never regret..my brownie boo =)
I SHALL CHANGE...
Saturday, June 12, 2010
ahoy !! depression
i tried getting a job but its just not working out well n i have no idea why ??? i feel so crappy, im like this overgrown child living with her parents without contributing anything but a troblesome to them. gosh, living at home and doing nothing is so depressing...
i should be in a uni by august ( hopefully) and i haf to start working part time to support myself ( thnx to my big mouth of boosting i cn support myself) as in extra poket money to buy stuff i dont need like clothes, shoes and the list goes on...and on...
may god bless me....
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Its all over...
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Power of Nothing
most of the time all i did was try to please people and never really bothered what i felt and how will i end up but why the sudden change ? why don't i feel this way ?
i have no more sympathy for people like i used to, jealousy is raging inside mixed with anger and revenge and i make people stoop so low for me, begging for me and i don't give a glance or have a tiny bit of pity.
what kind of a person have i become ? is this how i become after all the pain and betrayal i have gotten and being so nice to people who never appreciated it ? is this how Im going to be for the rest of my life, being cynical n skeptical in whatever people offer or say to me ?am i a passive aggressor ?
people are viewing me as a great person now when I'm this way, they look up to me as i am no more a coward like i used to be, silent and a placater who never wants to hurt any one's feelings. i feel so powerful and somehow i am liking this attitude.
but thoughts do linger, should i be doing this for my own satisfaction ? should i be selfish ?
Friday, June 4, 2010
Truth Can Hurt..Like It Or Not...
humans are created with a complex thinking and sometimes thinking can just run wild it may sound absurd or senseless to peoople but it may be true in a way.
i have always thought my life was created crappy and i always ask myslef why is it that way ? And all i do is say "its my fate". i barely get what i want although i work for it so hard, wheras people who dont give a damn, gets it. i have wanted so many things in life, but i'm still scratching the bottom level of nothing.
Now, what i would like to know form that dearest person who had planned my life without me is ermmm ? where is my happiness ? where's my talent ? when am i to acheive something in life ? did you forget to put it in ? or what ? do tell me ?? im sick of working my ass off doing things which always fails...
its true i dont have a talent.,.i can't draw,dance, sing, play an instrument,study ....and..it..goes..on
and dont say i didnt try..i did repatedly and i suck.. i have wasted haf my life chasing things i can never get, should i be doing that still ? should i stop and give up and become a loser like i was suppose to ?...the questions remain...
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
IRRITATING LIKE NO OTHER
the expression on people's face when irritated is like one in a million. and to make it all fun-er i was born with sarcasm. I'm sarcastic to everyone around me and no one likes itwhen its done on them but if i say it to ither people its funny ! people dont like cause its usually my sarcasticness is like a slap on the face and some what embarrasing.
Before anyone says i have a psychological problem, well i don't. Being irritating and sarcastic is just my thing...its comes naturally... ha ha. Besides its a gift i should use it..OFTEN :p
Friday, May 28, 2010
Ugly or not there she goes...
I was close to her for a certain period of time, but kinda drifted apart as we always had the opposite opinions on everything including friends but we did talk and joke around its just that we have different clique.
This damstress wears what she pleases although often it never suited her body shape ( as she was kinda big in places) though she had been told never to wear those clothes again she shuts them up and still wear em'. Look at that how many girls actually do that ??? ermmm none !
people do look at her oddly but she doesnt bother haha.
She eats allot to..trust me i have seen. She never bothered about how big is she and certainly dieting was never on her mind, another thing i always looked up on her for.
She is good at criticising* usually the truth* and saying what she thinks right in front of you, in other words she isn't a backstabber and a very brave person..she stands up for her self and age of her victims doesn't count.
Other than that her thinking is simply unique. the way she thinks is like so out-of-the-box..i mean she thinks about thinks other people don't think off. she is definitely smart scores like no body's business in exams.
She is known to be on her own. she doesn't mix around much with people so she is constantly on her own, she sometimes goes out shopping or eating all on her own whiteout a care in the world.
After getting to know her background such as how she grew up or how her parents were, somehow i figured out why did she turn up this way. she grew up in a broken family where her parents were both perfectionist but rarely care what their kids were up to. i know she grew up hating her parents, she doesn't say it out but i sensed it when she speaks of them.
And so that's why she became an independent person, who doesn't live on other people's satisfaction on purely on hers
This one girl that I'll never forget..hope she rocks her life like she always does.......
Thursday, May 27, 2010
TV ADDICT !!!!!!!!!!!
but who cares cause im actualy loving it ^^
CH 711 in Astro has been my loyal companion so far, half of their series are mw my best friends.
i have been addicted the most to is ( mind you, this is only a few of it)
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Im proud 2 say i havent missed a single episode of these programmes and some of others since May'10...
so proud of myself ! muhahahaha